I consider it an honor and privilege to share the life of my sister, Marilyn with you today. As most of you know, Marilyn was a daughter, sister, wife and mother along with being a high school English teacher for over 35 years. As we look back at her life, one of the ways to look at her life could probably be described in a book by Dr. Seuss, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go”.
For Marilyn, life started in 1950, as the third child to her parents, Dan and Blanche. She was welcomed home by her older brother Dan and sister Janet, and soon to be followed by Carol, Richard, myself and Norene. Life was an adventure growing up on a dairy farm in rural Kansas with six siblings centered on the family, farm activities and her faith.
However, her faith was challenged a bit in the very early years. As her sister Janet remembers, we would go to church and set in the back pew with the holy water fountain directly behind it. Climbing up on the pew, we would turn and play in the water, which had pretty stones at the bottom. It did not take long for Mom and Dad to move up a few pews to keep us out of trouble.
Marilyn’s first place to go was a two-room schoolhouse, about a mile from the family farm. It was here that she developed a love of reading be it school books, stories or anything else she could get her hands on.
At about the age of seven, Marilyn made her first communion. Not content with just the church service, she did a reenactment at home. Tissue paper was made into dresses and veils and flowers in the yard including the dandelions were use to decorate the alter, aka the kitchen table. Saltine crackers served as the communion hosts. She went from baptism to confirmation in the same small town church.
The next place to go was moving from the two-room school to the small town of Basehor for junior high and high school. Outside of school, Marilyn was very involved with 4-H and become very good at sewing, cooking and participation in the county and state fairs. Janet recalls it was fun to see how many items you exhibited at the county fair, as there was a relationship to the number of ribbons you could take home.
As the years went by, Marilyn developed an even stronger passion for learning, reading, and doing her best. Long before the terms became popular part of our language, you could describe her as self-motivated, a role model and mentor for others. I would gladly admit that she had an impact and influence on my life in school and scholastic achievement. It goes without saying that she was an excellent student and constantly received recognition of her achievements, including the Betty Crocker Award. She was the yearbook editor, newspaper reporter, and had leading roles in class plays.
She graduated from high school with honors and received a scholarship to attend Kansas State. In 1968 she joined Dan and Janet who were already there. Looking back, I can only imagine the pride my parents must have had at that moment as their third child headed off to college. Four years later, she received her degree in secondary education to teach English.
Marilyn’s next place to go was her first teaching position in the small northeast town of Linn, Kansas where she taught all of the English classes for the high school. Several years later when I was at Kansas State, two of my dorm mates were from Linn. I asked what kind of teacher she was. Their eyes rolled and without hesitation, they said she set high expectation and demanded the best. If you wanted to get an A in her class, you had to earn it. I would readily admit there was a lot of sibling pride in their comments.
Wanting to take on new challenges and explore the world, her next place to go was a teaching position in Australia. After an 18-month stint, she embarked on a ‘world tour’ going through Asia and Europe, backpacking and camping along the way. It was her first opportunity to see the world. She returned to Kansas in 1976 and just 25 years old, having gone from a two-room schoolhouse to teach halfway around the world. Marilyn took a teaching position in Atchison Kansas. It was here that she met a fellow teacher, John Sullivan. It was a three-year romance that culminated with their marriage in 1979. John says that Marilyn was the love of his life, but the truth is that John was the love of Marilyn’s life.
Not content to stay put, Marilyn sold John on the idea to teach abroad, and together they could discover the world. The next ‘place to go’ was starting their new life together in Wurzburg Germany. John and Marilyn took teaching positions with the Department of Defense. Their life changed the next year with the birth of Megan followed by Kathleen in 1983 and Erin in 1985. For 30 years, John and Marilyn made Wurzburg their home raising their daughters. During that time, they traveled every opportunity they had, including Britain, Ireland, the Scandinavian countries, Russia, Italy, Greece, Egypt, Poland, France, the Canary Islands, and even Kansas every other summer. Marilyn had a sense of adventure to discover and experience new cultures and people. The family had annual ski trips to the Austrian Alps and in later years to Colorado. John and Marilyn routinely hosted and entertained family and friends from the states as they ventured to Europe. Yes, even my family. Grandma and Grandpa Murphy never forgot the trip to Ireland that Marilyn and John took them on, although Grandpa Murphy did think the Irish farmers talked a little funny.
The last place to go was retiring to Ft. Collins in 2009. However, retired is a misleading term for how they lived their life? Almost immediately, they were volunteering four days a week. Marilyn’s ‘retirement’ work included the church, the library and food banks.
At the end of one’s life, we can always look back and measure our accomplishments. Did we make a difference in someone’s life? Is the world a better place because they were here?
During Marilyn’s teaching career, she had more than 4,000 students pass through her classrooms. Certainly in sheer numbers that is would be considered an accomplishment. To get a true understanding of ‘did she make a difference’, let me share comments from her former students and teachers.
y ability to do so. She gave a gift to countless students over her years. My thoughts became short stories, and since college those stories have become plays. I am a playwright. And with every page I turn I will always remember the teachers who gave me the lessons I could not teach/learn myself.
From fellow teachers
Marilyn’s other accomplishments in life were as a mother to her three children. She was supportive of their work, challenged them to do their best and engaged in almost every aspect of their life from school, to activities, sports, and the church. She instilled a love of reading and a sense of adventure and discovery. Further, she was almost impossible to beat in a game of Scrabble
When her daughter Erin was her student in her class, she told her that with the forthcoming parent teacher conferences that she would like to schedule a conference with her. Erin’s response was, oh with Dad too. No, just you and me.
Her advice to Kathleen as she embarked on her first year as a teacher, “Your kids will be the luckiest kids to have you as a teacher”.
When Kathleen became a mom, her strongest supporter and confidant was her mother. For all the questions of what do I do, how do I do it, when do it do it? Marilyn was there.
Her daughters paid her the highest compliment one can get. Megan, Kathleen and Erin are teachers today. It actually goes further as Megan stated, “her techniques and teaching style became my techniques and teaching style.”
Above all, she was a role model for her daughters.
Marilyn’s strongest influence in life was her husband John. Marilyn’s took John on her adventure and if you would, the places you will go. The marriage went upon a deep love and admiration to a partnership that made the sum far greater than the parts. Their support of each other to take on new challenges made them both better people that impacted the lives of so many people. Partners in life, they shared a deep love of one another that truly cannot be broken.
Marilyn was devoted to Christ and the Catholic faith. Not only were her children raised in the church, but also they became active participants. Marilyn was a Eucharist minister and lectern.
I can share a personal experience with Marilyn and her faith in the church.
My family was traveling in Italy with the Sullivan’s, and after visiting 15 churches including 3 or 4 hours in St. Peter’s, we returned from Rome to Livorno late on Saturday night. Upon getting up on Sunday, Marilyn stated that there was a Catholic church on base and that we could attend mass.
As we try to understand why Marilyn has left us, I would like to read a verse from the Bible, the book of Matthew, Chapter 24. ‘But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone’.
We all believe in eternity and Marilyn certainly did. But the reality is our time on this earth is relatively short and we all feel that she was taken from us far too early in her life. She will be dearly missed by her husband John, stepson Trey and his children, Trent and Ashlyn and daughters Megan, Kathleen and Erin and Megan’s husband Mike, Kathleen’s husband Jon and their two children, Tyler and Alice, as well as her brothers and sisters and many friends, relatives and numerous students.
So I go back to the book by Dr. Seuss and the ‘Oh, The Places You’ll Go’. There are two verses that are a metaphor of her life.
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go.
"Will you succeed? Yes, you will indeed.
